An Essay Written from a Window Seat in Economy Class on an Airplane Coming Home from a Reporting Trip

As with so many of these newsletters, this is just what popped out.

I am confident I’m in at least the 95th percentile of people in terms of how much they think about the movie Dave.

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OK, but hear me out: what if we had a way for the person in the window seat to get up and pee without bothering their rowmates?

It's late. The cabin lights are dimmed. Aisle Guy is sleeping. Middle-Seat Lady is watching a movie and occasionally -- or maybe I'm imagining it -- glancing over here at what I'm writing. Hey lady: if you're reading this, your scarf is ugly. Also, mind your own damn business.

I sure showed her.

I have to pee.

OK, but. Idea: a sort of ladder-and-tunnel system. So. I am next to the window, in the left-most seat. To my right, able to drop down from the luggage compartment above me, would be a ladder. You climb the ladder from your seat, through a tunnel that goes through where the luggage compartment is right now.

And then when you come out the other side, there's a ladder that can drop down, and you climb down into the aisle and then wander off to pee. Then you come back, climb up the ladder, through the tunnel, and down into your seat.

PROBLEM #1, THOUGH: What about carry-on bags? Doesn't this mean way less carry-on space?